Emotional Intelligence

by Jeanne Jensma, Ph.D.

We have all observed the admiration given to a person with a high IQ. “IQ” stands for “Intelligence Quotient.” High IQ helps a person do well in school. But have you heard of “EQ?” EQ stands for Emotions Quotient, and high EQ helps a person do well in relationships, in life!

Among people who intend to serve as life-long missionaries, 15-20% do not complete even 5 years of service. And about 1500 pastors a month leave ministry in the U.S. In fact, fewer than 50% of seminary graduates are still in ministry a decade after graduating. What is behind these grim statistics? EMOTIONS! Seldom do people leave ministry because their theology changes, or because their level of commitment to the Lord changes. People usually leave ministry because something becomes so very painful that they just can’t keep going. If only more emphasis were put on EQ than is put on IQ in their training, people in ministry would be much better able to persevere through the very painful times.

ALONGSIDE teaches people in ministry how to significantly raise their EQ. A high EQ equips a person in ministry to handle relational problems better, develop a greater support system for him/herself, and also minister more effectively. High EQ is . . .

  • Knowing what I am feeling “in the moment”;
  • being able to experience my feelings and name them;
  • being able to share my feelings with safe others when I choose to do so,
  • but being able to keep my feelings to myself when appropriate;
  • being able to express my feelings but without allowing them to control me;
  • being sensitive to others’ feelings, and having skills in inviting others to share their feelings;
  • being a person with whom others feel safe sharing their hearts;
  • being a good listener and a good reflector of others’ feelings.

High EQ invites intimacy. High EQ creates intimacy. High EQ sustains intimacy. High EQ helps us get to heart-issues in our own lives and the lives of others. High EQ consists of being able to share our feelings with others and enter into theirs, resulting in . . .

  • Deeper relationships,
  • Deeper level of community
  • Greater personal wholeness
  • Greater ministry effectiveness